Aug. 6th, 2024

mollywheezy: (Default)
When I married Peter, we tried to find something we could do for exercise and to have fun together. He had done ballet in elementary and middle school but in high school he had to choose between ballet and band and chose band. I had participated in multiple styles of dancing throughout my childhood and teenage years. We thought taking dance classes together could be fun. We looked at our local community college and found a class in Country Dancing. It was rather more remedial than either of us needed. The class should have been called “Country Dancing for People who have Peat Moss for Brains.”

For our next attempt at a dance class, we signed up for Argentine Tango. Argentine Tango is NOT what Americans think of when we hear the word Tango. We did not know there are different dances both called Tango. Argentine Tango is extremely difficult and not what someone wants to try for one of their first ever ballroom classes. We were the comic relief of the group and did not learn Argentine Tango, but we did like the instructors and signed up for more of their classes. We took every class they offered at the community college, but then moved away. We got out of dancing for a bit until a friend invited us to come to the studio where we still dance.

We have been ballroom dancing with the same studio for over twelve years. Although the studio has changed names, changed owners and changed locations, it is still the same dance instructors. They have been trying to convince us we should compete for at least ten of those years. That is a big no from me, since I competed in dance as a teenager and while I enjoyed dancing, I did not enjoy the competitive aspect.

We were not starting from the absolute beginning with dancing and learned steps quickly, especially once we began taking regular private lessons. We hadn’t been able to afford that level of involvement when we were newlyweds. Ballroom dancing is an expensive hobby, but we were having fun, making friends, and getting exercise. Win, Win, Win.

One of the couples we befriended were Curt* and Rhoda*. They had been dancing for years already when we started. Rhoda always had fun and enjoyed dancing, but Curt seemed very down on himself. I tried to encourage him and was always willing to dance with him at parties since he was a good guy, but his negative attitude became a stumbling block to friendship. He finally was honest one day and said he was angry that Peter and I were so much better at dancing than he was when he had been dancing longer. I explained that both of us had previous dance experience but it didn’t help. He couldn’t get past his frustration that we were learning more quickly than he was. He quit dancing. For a while, Rhoda came without him, but eventually she quit dancing, too. We are friends on Facebook, but that is the extent of our relationship at this point.

Two years ago, our studio owners joined the Fred Astaire franchise. The owners were told Fred Astaire was starting a studio in our town, and they could join them or compete against them. They joined them, and it has been a savvy business move for them since they don’t have to do everything on their own.

Fred’s, as we affectionately call it, has a structured system for how a studio is run and a syllabus for dance steps. They have a judge come in to perform a test to move to the next level. Peter and I were already a high level when the studio became Fred Astaire. I was perfectly happy to stay at that level forever. There are stars on the wall with our names on them. When someone moves up a level, they can move their star. I didn’t care if my star moved, but Peter did. He really wanted to practice for and take the test to get to the next level. I was hesitant, but he talked me into it.

We danced five dances together to music--we had to do three steps in each dance from the level we were trying to pass, and in between we did our solo steps, one step per dance. The solos were by far the hardest thing for me. I'm good at following, but to be a good follower, I basically don't think. That doesn't work in a solo step, but I got through them.

I had been really nervous about it, but it was fine. The judge was kind and encouraging, and when we were in the middle of our first dance and completed what I thought was the hardest step, he called out "Nice!" and I relaxed significantly. He had a sense of humor, thankfully. On my first solo step, for waltz, I always had a hard time starting in the right orientation. There are, I think, 8 directions in ballroom dancing, plus the reverse of those 8 for follows . . . diagonal wall, diagonal center, center, wall, etc. I never can remember them or get them right, especially since I am usually following Peter. We agreed in advance if I was starting in the wrong direction, Peter would slightly shake his head at me so I could fix it. Peter shook his head, I changed direction before I started dancing and looked back at him and he was still shaking his head. I said, "Why are you still shaking your head? Both ways can't be wrong!" And yes I said it out loud. I have some lip reading ability, but Peter does not. Peter facepalmed, the judge chuckled, our teacher told us I was right with the second direction I had chosen . . . At least I did the step correctly.

When we had finished dancing, the judge took a couple of minutes to type up his notes while we chatted with our teacher. He told us we did very well and earned a 94.2. I said, "YAY!" and Peter asked, "Out of what?" The judge smiled and told Peter, "Out of 100" and then Peter was happy, too. It occurred to me I had seen the form the judge would use, but I guess Peter was in the restroom when our teacher showed me, because I knew it was out of 100. He gave us some very helpful tips for improving our dancing, and as a result, I am not so opposed now to taking another of these tests. It was not the horror I had expected, and it was quite fun to move our stars on the wall. Plus, we only need to take one more test before we will be at the highest level we care to achieve.

Our teachers are still trying to convince us to compete with the rationale that we can work on improving our own scores, and we will get comments from judges. One teacher said it doesn’t matter if we win or lose because we could come in first and be competing against awful dancers, so that’s not meaningful. I’m still not competing. It costs a fortune and I am perfectly happy dancing in showcases to raise money for charity.


*Not their real names

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